He was born North of the Caspian, South of the Barents, West of the Urals. 
His mother was a Cossack, his father, a Dubliner.
As a youth, he ripped the still-beating heart from a Bolshevik's chest and impaled it on a Kremlin pike.
In search of liberty and women with trimmer ankles, he emigrated to the U.S.
His progeny are legion.
He is ageless.
He is omniscient.
He is a fine bandurist.
He is a snappy dresser.